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Sarah, a young lady, is dealing with her father’s choice to not provide financial assistance for her wedding,
Which is a very different circumstance from the kind donation he provided to her sister’s extravagant celebration only a year before.
Letter from Sarah to us: Hello, Voyaau! I need assistance since I’m not sure how to handle an issue at home. My father is blatantly refusing to cover the cost of my wedding.
It is puzzling considering that he paid for my sister’s lavish wedding only a year ago. He informs me he doesn’t have the money when it’s my time.
Even though I am his adopted daughter and my sister is his biological daughter, dad has always treated us equally—at least up until this point.
“Listen, your sister’s wedding cost me a small fortune,” he stated with a sad sigh when I asked him why. I didn’t anticipate having to pay for another one so quickly.
“I’m not made of money, you know,” he said with a half-shrug, as if he was attempting to be rational but didn’t think he owed me much of an explanation. And, well, her big day was that wedding.
Now, things are different. Hearing him call hers on the big day hurt a lot, but I simply sat there trying to ignore it and swallow the disappointment.
Is it incorrect of me to feel offended that he won’t assist me the way he assisted her? XOXO Sarah Recognize and affirm your emotions.
It’s critical to acknowledge that your pain and disappointment are real. Rather of attempting to ignore it, give yourself permission to feel this way.
Keeping a journal or talking to a trusted person about your feelings may help you process them in a healthy manner, which can help you think more clearly and less resentfully.
Recognize his viewpoint without defending it. Even while it can seem unjust, your father’s choice could have been influenced by a number of circumstances,
Including money or even the unspoken pressure to marry his biological daughter in accordance with social norms.
While acknowledging his point of view does not imply agreement, it may sometimes lessen the severity of the pain and guide you in your relationship with him.
Establish reasonable goals and look for other alternatives. Although acknowledging that he may not be able to help might be upsetting, it can also be liberating since.
iIt enables you to turn your attention to original, different ideas. Even if your sister’s views and financial situation are different,
Think about how you may organize a wedding that fits both of them. This method may help you personalize the experience. Be calm yet open in your communication.
Talk to your father calmly and honestly about how you feel about his choice if you feel comfortable doing so. For example, “I felt hurt when you said my sister’s wedding was her big day,
As it made me feel less valued.” Avoid accusations and instead use “I” statements. This strategy allows him to explain his stance and maybe even recognize your emotions.
Pay attention to your relationship after the incident. Consider your connection more broadly while evaluating your father’s choice.
Even if this is a disheartening moment, it’s critical to determine whether this conduct is normal or just an isolated instance of poor judgment.
If you want to maintain the connection, thinking back on your relationship with him throughout time may help you figure out how to proceed that feels right for you.
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